i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
