and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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