i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
