I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
