god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
