I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
