did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
