I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
