is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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