some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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