I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
