I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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