The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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