This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
