I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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