the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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