Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize