your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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