apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
