I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
