i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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