i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
