I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
