btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
