Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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