They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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