yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
