What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
