I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
