Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
