i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
