Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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