when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
