So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
