I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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