Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
