My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
