He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
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