i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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