She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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