My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
