Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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