remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
