There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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