You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The best revenge is premature balding
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
