i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Randomize
