jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
