I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
