I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
is it fun? or sober?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
