I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
