if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
